The Art of Life: Recognizing The Gifts of Grief

Above: Artistic inspiration from the amazing Ashley Longshore (thanks a million times over to my talented friend Danielle Krysa for having introduced me to her and to my hubs for the perfect Christmas gift), a pending art endeavor for the oh-so-cool Sketchbook Project (an incredible gift from my friend Elizabeth), champagne, and cake. Always cake!


So, yeah, my last post was a heavy one. Heavy but absolutely essential. Essential for me, sure, but everyone else, too, because we're all going to be here/there eventually. Now, while grief is utterly soul-shattering and hard, messy business, part of the journey in carrying grief is to start recognizing what it gifts you in the process. Lord knows, it can be hard to acknowledge and accept those gifts in some respects because it feels a little like diminishing the loss or, more important, the value of the love/s you've lost. But it also seems pretty reasonable that we wouldn't expect someone to wander endlessly through a desert and then deny themselves the comfort of an oasis if they were to come upon it, am I right? And I fear what would become of life to stay mired perpetually in the pain without trying to find the route back to joy.

Overboard & Adrift: On Life & Navigating Grief

Yeah, I'm here again. I know. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Let me tell you, it's felt even longer. But, at the same time, I also cannot believe how quickly that time seems to have flown? If you're here reading this... wow! Thank you. Thank you for hanging in there. If patience is a virtue, then sainthood may be awaiting you at this juncture. You've obviously stopped polishing your halo long enough to check in and I'm both amazed and profoundly appreciative. I'm feeling more than a little rusty at all of this, now, so we'll see how well I do. And I'll thank you in advance if this post darts and rambles. But, be prepared. A long absence has generated quite a long post in order to catch y'all up to speed. Buckle up.

Looking at my last post back in March of 2015, I was moving toward what would have been the one-year mark of my mother having to be placed in a memory care facility after her Alzheimer's diagnosis. It felt so surreal at that time. And that overall feeling hasn't stopped.

It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Yes. I’m back. Yes. Again. I know, you may be wondering, “Doesn’t a blogger have to blog to be a blogger?” I would tend to agree. Have I really felt like blogging since my last post? Not especially. Have I wanted to let ‘The Bedlam’ go altogether? No. Not for a second. But in May the bottom dropped out of my life and I was rendered useless in the face of what I was confronting. I did my best to keep my other social media outlets going but blogging just became an impossible priority.

Some of you may recall that my mom had been dealing with, what we believed to be, Alzheimer’s symptoms for a while now. But try as we might to get her to seek medical attention, for any reason, she steadfastly refused. We watched as it slowly crept in here and there. It was enough to cause us concern and worry but not so much that we couldn’t deceive ourselves into believing that we had more time. Whatever that meant, anyway? And in May things went from blips on the radar to full blown alarm bells. We were confronted with the absolute reality that the force to be reckoned with that has been my mom, our own little Titanic, had indeed started sinking.

Spring Awakening

PHOTO BY UNCLE BEEFY

Oh, for heaven's sake. Let's just get this done. I have been mulling and mulling and mulling over what to say and where to start that, I mean, I have to start somewhere. Since my current mantra is "start where you are" then here and now seems a logical conclusion. So, here I am. Ta da! (Suddenly, I envision myself in a sidestep tap routine wearing a tutu? Same for you? Anyway...)

I've been away from 'The Bedlam' for the longest period of time since I first started blogging in 2007. But, despite appearances, I hadn't given up. The thing is, 2013 threw me for a serious loop - laid off from my job, a depressing and shockingly competitive job market, my mom's declining health, etc., etc.. It sucked. Sucked. And, being the Cancerian that I am, I suppose I needed to retreat into my shell in an attempt to regroup. That's not to say that I'm back and better than ever with all my ducks in a row and a strategic plan in place. But, with my flaws and imperfections, I am here. And, dammit, that's saying something.

I'm strange. And I like it.

PHOTO BY BRIAN LANE

I have been called a lot of things in my life. Some good, some not so good. But if there has been one adjective that has dutifully followed me around it's "weird". "Strange" comes in at a very close second and makes for a slightly catchier title based upon the song by Cameo (which, as it turns out, isn't really all that great despite my fond recollection). Hey, I get it. I mean, I totally get it. I am weird. And, at this point, you've probably gotten that, as well. Yes? Thought so. (God love your heart for still being here.)

Sometimes my weirdness has been my nemesis. Kids at school teased and shunned me because their poor wee brains just couldn't wrap their heads around all o' that business. And I drive myself bananas - buh-NANAS! - with the weirdness of my late bloomer ways. On the other hand, that same bizarre synapse explosion that had kids laughing at me when I was little has turned out to be the same silly freak show that has had people laughing with me and connected me with so many as an adult. Here's the one consistent thing, that little inside place that has continually gotten pegged as weird, be it good weird or bad weird, is the same place that always radiates with joy for me. I don't mean joy. I mean JOY. That utter abandonment of all cares or concerns, the I-could-give-a-rip relishing that only comes in moments where we feel completely, deeply, authentically ourselves. Why then are so many of us quick to squelch that expressiveness and abandon that feeling of freedom? Abandon ourselves?

A casual armchair psychology session would talk about our innate biological and social desires to belong and, thus, conform to a standard set by a societal majority, blah, blah, blah. So why do we also applaud and admire those who defy those set standards? Raise them up as idols of individuality? Why? Because we so desperately want to do the exact same thing. They represent outwardly the caged wonder that resides inside all of us. But as much as we may long for the radiance of those who have the courage to be themselves, most of us become inextricably torn between the contradiction of wanting to be accepted by the group as they want us to be and risking being ourselves as we were meant to be.

Word

Thursday Thought

Emphasis on the "really."


 

Insights & Ice Cream

GRAPHIC BY UNCLE BEEFY

Last week I almost bought a ticket to go to India. I thought, "What the hell! I've always wanted to go, so why not?!" Essentially, I had a brief but emotionally-charged surge of inspiration probably similar to those had by people who think they can go live safely among grizzly bears or keep rattlesnakes as house pets. We can pretty much guess how those situations turn out. Fortunately, there are things to consider in an impromptu Indian escape like severe seasonal weather conditions, vaccinations, and bank balances. Whew! Thanks, Universe.

I think I just wanted to indulge in the idea of doing something that might make me feel a bit less "stuck" or at the very least distracted from those feelings that seem so prevalent lately. There's no question that feeling stuck can be defeating and debilitating. But mulling over this situation brought me back to a moment in art school when an exceptionally attractive professor shared a couple of thoughts with the class.

First, he asked us who in the class wanted to be a great artist. Did any of us raise our hands? Duh. Then he told us that none of us would ever be great artists. Jerk? Yeah, we thought so, too, until he continued. He then went on to share that all of us have a preconceived idea of what being "great" is and that by the time we would reach that far-off imagined point we would already have raised the bar on ourselves to yet another level of "greatness." So, in point of fact, we'd never really be great artists... in our own eyes. Maybe that's something of a blanket statement, but it makes sense and also points out how futile comparison is in the end. Sure, there can be glimmers of inspiration in creating that point on our horizon based upon another person's accomplishments, talents, etc. But most of us are probably well aware of the excessive pitfalls that lie in wait for the first moment that we don't manage to measure up to our assumptive ideals. Bartenders, bakers, and Ben & Jerry's have certainly benefited from those moments. Of that, I'm most certain.

Secondly, he shared this quote, "Work doesn't come from inspiration, inspiration comes from work." Wow. I don't remember if it was his quote or from someone else but that baby really strikes a chord. Well, remembering it did anyway. I don't know about you, but I'll admit that I tend to wait for "the moment" to strike. Sure they come around on occasion, but only occasionally. And not only does that waiting waste an inordinate amount of time, it puts the onus of responsibility on something or someone outside of ourselves. Talk about powerless and self-defeating! Ben & Jerry's are probably working on a flavor for that right now. "Excuses, Excuses Crunch?" "...with Pity Party Swirl?" In any case, it essentially boils down to just showing up, don'tcha think? And not to your grocer's freezer section. How's that for some cold, hard truth? (Brrr! I'd suggest a hot cuppa cocoa right now but I think that could distract us. I'd have cuddled up to some hot cocoa with that professor, I can tell you that much. See what I mean? Distracted.)

You still with me? Good. My final thought on all of this, and where I really struggle, is about control - which is where that quote up there comes into play. Flashback some 15 years ago and you would see a young man sitting in his apartment, lights dimmed, candles flickering, and a CD of Hildegard of Bingen chanting away as he attempted his first foray into meditation. (Yeah. In case you didn't know, I had/have a flair for a bit of the mystical and a lot of the dramatic. Go figure.) I thought I'd tap into the cosmic flow and take a moment to ask God, the Universe, or whomever was kindly listening, just what in the hell I was supposed to be doing with my life?!! The answer I got back? "Surrender." Yep. That's all! "I'm sorry God/Universal Intelligence, but do you see what all I've got going on here? The candles? The music? I kinda went to a lot of trouble to just get an off-the-cuff, "surrender," y'know?"

Two hours later and I sat dumbfounded and frustrated. But y'know what else? I kinda figure that little message must've come from a real place because if it had been my own internal voice it probably would have offered up, "How about a cocktail," or "Just practice your 'Voguing' and leave me alone." But 'surrender' sounded suppressing and depressing to me at the time and for years to come, frankly. I took it to mean "give up" or "let someone else take the wheel." I figured I'd already tried that before with unfulfilling or disastrous results so, thanks but no thanks - I'll take things from here. Or, so I thought. 15 years later... and I think I may be starting to finally get it. (How's that for a learning curve?)

 All the while I thought I was driving the bus, I was just determining my route based upon what 'the passengers' were telling me or where I thought they might like to see me go. I actually had surrendered but in an unconscious and altogether different way than what that little voice had tried to tell me. I basically just handed everything over to anyone, anyone, that thought they knew better than I did - good intentions or otherwise. The subtext of that little meditative quip, I now believe, was telling me, "just relax, let go of perfection, don't worry about controlling the final outcome, don't worry about the outcome at all, don't worry about the opinions of others - good or bad, stop looking for the answers "out there," listen to yourself, have fun, do what you love." If it's true what they say, "Man makes plans, and God laughs," then God has been yucking it up at my expense for a good long while. And, honestly, who could blame Him?

So that's where I am now, kids. My own little "Aha!" moment. I mean, I'm still processing this information but from a much lighter place. A new outlook, a fresh approach. So, we'll see where all of that takes me from here on out. The concept of surrendering still feels scary to me but, for the first time, also rather liberating. Like that quote up there would indicate, when your hands finally let go, they'll finally be open to receiving something new. Maybe what I've been waiting for all along? I think I'll let someone else worry about that now. (First time for everything.)

Slowly. Surely.

Hi, kids. How ya doin'? I just wanted to stop by, check in, say a big THANK YOU to all your kind comments and words of support on my last post, and to say WELCOME to all of you new followers. All in all, y'all are serious troopers and I appreciate the fact that you're still hanging on or following along despite the current quiet spell. You're showing your faith in me and I hope and trust that I'll deliver on that kindness. Someday soon. 

In the meantime, I leave you with some photos from around the garden. Well, the yard, anyway. It sure ain't a garden. But lovely just the same. And that's exactly what I hope for all of you and the weekend ahead - a little lovely. Take good care of yourselves. I'll be seeing you!

PHOTOS BY UNCLE BEEFY.

Wait. Where did they say the emergency exits are located? Ooh! Snacks!

Hi, kids. Yeah, I've been scarce. Again. But I did leave you with that enthralling mayo versus Miracle Whip poll. So, at least my blogging and journalistic integrity is still well in tact. [Gulp.]

While I've been busy with things outside of the blogosphere, the reality is I just haven't been 'feeling' it. And not just "not 'feeling' it" with the blog, but "not 'feeling' it" in general. The truth is I've been dealing with things that run much deeper than coming up with engaging content or even other exterior life stresses. 

I've hesitated to say anything at all and simply muster myself back up into the saddle and simply get on with it. I think there are times in life when one must simply rally and fake it to make it. Those times, I've found, are usually during a general moment of malaise or melancholy or just a good old fashioned pity party. That's not to say that there aren't hints of those aforementioned meddlers as they always seem to invite themselves in even during more profound moments of being heavy-hearted. But this is not a time for mustering. This is a time to get quiet, still, reflective. It's a time to check in, instead of checking out. Now, I'm not trying to bring the room down. Really. But as I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm wanting to put forth more authenticity here. And with that, I also think that sharing our stories can hold tremendous power or at least be helpful to someone somewhere.

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard someone declare some kind of defeat over how someone else in the blogosphere has such a great life, well, I'd probably have a couple of bucks and some change. But, still, that's a lot of nickels. It also makes me think about those who have emailed or tweeted me over the years about my "fabulous" or "perfect life" (?!?!) and wishing their life was more like mine. Kids, my life is far from perfect. SO far. The reality is, no one's life is perfect - and we know that. So why do so many of us engage in the comparison game? Furthermore, why do so many of us put so much heart into something based on such false assumptions. Are we just slightly sadomasochistic? Or maybe we're just trying too hard to find beacons of our future happiness only to cut ourselves down for not being there already. Wherever 'there' is anyway?

Believe me, I'm still trying to move past that knee-jerk response of thinking that the key to my happiness lay somewhere 'out there'. I know it's not. But too often things get so overwhelming that it's simply easier to set things to auto-pilot and coast through self-deprecation, self-pity, mindless consumer consumption, or the refrigerator. Or, I just let myself get my magpie on and get distracted by all things sparkly and aesthetically pleasing. The thing is, when you fly on auto-pilot too long you can start to forget how to fly the plane in the first damn place. And you just feel utterly lost. That's when you know it's time to quit popping packages of peanuts and stop your irreverent chatter with the flight attendants and get down to business. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a landing. Oh, and there's gonna be turbulence. Buckle up.

"Be careful what you're good at - you could end up doing it for years." 

~ Danielle LaPorte

Another byproduct of zoning out on auto-pilot is that you become much more susceptible to others' opinions about you, who you are, and what you should be doing. It can feel deceptively good. Letting others take the reins and just guide you on your way. Ah! And, oftentimes, they'll even guide you toward things you're good at! But, BUT, just because you're good at it may not always mean it's what you should be doing or, more important, that you even want to do it in the first place. I don't know about you, but that's been a recurring theme in my life. If you don't put in the effort to learn what genuinely moves you, years can go by before you understand just how comfortably numb you've allowed yourself to get. Hey, what's that flashing red light on the control panel? Co-Pilot? Co-Pilot?!! Crap.

So, yeah. While contemplating a blog redesign and content reconsideration I came to realize that those were merely understudies to what I actually need which is something much bigger - my own truth. (Lord, that sounds daunting!) I suppose the issues with my mom's health have made me understand most profoundly that life truly is short. It's gotten me down, but it's also made me understand and value what's really important. And, it also makes me feel like I know where to start. And that's not such a terrible place. Right? 

We'll see where all of this takes us. To start off the excavation process, I'll be digging into Danielle LaPorte's new book The Fire Starter Sessions. It's going to be some serious work. It's not going to happen overnight. It's going to be an adventure. And I hope you'll be patient with me in the process.

Still standing.

PHOTOS BY UNCLE BEEFY.

Into the Woods

Welcome back, kids! Er, wait... or is that what you say to me? Well, in any case, here I am and here you are. I said I'd be back on the 2nd of April and here I am. Two days later. Oy.

So, yeah... my "blogging break". I mean, I guess it was, in point of fact, a break from blogging so the term still fits technically. However, it wasn't even remotely what I had envisioned in terms of how that time would be spent. I don't know if the universe is trying to teach me something or, more aptly put, what it is that the universe is trying to get me to wake up to, but no sooner did I declare my blogging break than outside forces quickly spoke up for my time and creative energies. You might think that the lesson could be about the power of saying "no". But, these were largely circumstances where choice was not an option.

That also reminds me of a time when I was going to do hell-and-all around the house after taking time away from work only to wake up on that first day with a backache from hell that rendered me useless well past my planned period of productivity. So, I don't know? Maybe my inner child is in some kind of a cosmic tiff with the powers that be? Well, I wish they'd take it to a counselor and leave me the hell out of it!

I don't have the pulse on precisely what's going on with me these days, but something is going on. Mid-life growing pains? I think I can safely say that it isn't a mid-life crisis. Hair restoration programs still seem laughable as opposed to a viable option, I feel no compulsion to replace the one car I've ever had (for 20 years now!) with something flashy and sporty, and I've yet to feel the urge to go a-la-Madonna/JLo and ditch the mister to find me a younger boy toy. I mean, honestly, why would you want one more child to look after?

A friend of mine recently took a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat. That's ten days of no talking, no communicating, ten hours of meditating a day. She said it felt like "someone had taken a toilet brush to my consciousness and connected a locking fastener between my mind and body so now they work in tandem instead of against one another." I don't know about you, but after the last few weeks (or years, if you will) I could use a moment like this. Although, for anyone who has met me, the thought of ME not talking for ten days would be no less miraculous than anything Jesus managed to pull off. When I turned to Kendall to say that I wanted to look into it and that it would involve me being silent for all that time he said, with an undertone of fear, "Oh god! What about when you CAN talk again?!!" Not flattering but utterly justified.

To be perfectly honest, during my time away I actually contemplated whether it may simply be time to end my blogging days here on "The Bedlam." But, obviously, that thought just didn't resonate authentically. I love being a blogger! But, that's not to say that my methods don't need strong reconsideration for the sake of both myself and the blog. I know that I'm ready for a change of pace here but I hesitate to get overly specific just yet about what thoughts I'm currently entertaining in that regard. What I can say is that it will likely mean fewer posts, but more original content. So, we'll see what something different this way comes.

Despite being largely housebound during my hiatus, I did manage to leave the homestead and get myself out into nature which is about my biggest compulsion these days. Fortunately, my friend 'Miss Betty' is a walker and was willing to join me in the Grand Forest here on Bainbridge Island as you will see in the photos here. Something so restorative about birdsong and good conversation. And, I'm still feeling the need for reflection and restoration.

ALL PHOTOS BY UNCLE BEEFY

It's not you, it's me.

Hi, kids. Okay, so I've been mulling and mulling things over. Many of you graciously gave me your feedback about the blog and that, too, has been part of this said mulling. And, I thank you for that. But, given all that I have swirling about in my head and my life these days, I've decided to take a blogging hiatus. Not to worry! I will be back! It just seems like the right thing to do at this time and so I'm trusting my gut on this one. No guest bloggers. No pre-scheduled posts. Just some extra breathing room to let my creative juices recharge, refresh, and renew.

I just need that open space to plot, plan, dream, think about the blog redesign, the direction I want to go in with future content, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. There's a lot to work on and figure out. And, I really want to get myself squared away to bring you some fresh content and perspective. You gonna be okay? Sure you will!

I'll probably pop in from time to time over on pinterest, twitter, or facebook. I'll be sifting through the avalanche that is my inbox (Although, I made great headway the other day! Woot, woot!). I may even be found with an Americano staring blankly but blissfully out the window. Ah!

Just so we're all clear, I will be back on The Bedlam on Monday, April 2nd. Yes, the day after April Fool's Day. Purely coincidental, I can assure you. Although, it does have a certain poetry in the timing.

In the meantime, here are some other lovely people and perusals to tide you over:

Apartment 34 • Around the Table at Blackberry Farm • Bright Bazaar
Camille Styles • Coco + Kelley • Creature Comforts • Design Crush
{farmette}: I Married An Irish Farmer • Geninne's Art Blog • Happy Interior Blog
Happy Mundane • House of Brinson • Freutcake • Fleurishing • Lisa Congdon
Melissa Loves • mirrormirror • Not Your Average Ordinary • Oh Happy Day
Old Sweet Song • Old Brand New • One Charming Party • Salt + Pine
Under A Pink Moon • Reverie Daydream • sfgirlbybay • Snippet & Ink
Sprk • Style Swoon • You Are My Fave

Thanks, kids! Take good care of yourselves and I'll see you again before you know it!

Busy Bee[fy]

I'm feeling thoughtful in recent days, a sense of contemplation. There are all of these thoughts stirring on the busy-ness of our lives. I suppose it's because I have so many things to think about these days: my family, my job, my relationships, my blog redesign, etc., etc. Such a whirlwind! But, I know it isn't just me. It's the vast majority of us. And, I only say "the vast majority" to sound less hyperbolic than if I were to say "all". Do you feel the rush, rush, rush? So, when coming upon the latest film (above) from Made by Hand entitled "The Beekeeper", a little part of me just sighed with an imagined sense of relief. Then, while watching, I marveled for those few minutes at the beauty of what Megan does. The pure, simple beauty. The process of preparing the smoker, coaxing the honeycomb out, the golden light, and the change of the honey's flavor depending on the time of the season... gorgeous. Her thoughts about feeling "connected" which, I have to say, I don't feel with great certainty most of the time... inspiring. I know I'm romanticizing as we are prone to do when watching someone move across their patch of greener grass, but it does make me take notice of the fact that it produces such a strong reaction within. Do I need a vacation? Or, is there something more that is being spoken to? I do find myself increasingly drawn to aspects of a simpler life. I sigh over pared down palettes of white and wood, people who engage more regularly with nature and gardening, purging of unused items around the house, and obsessing over stories of people who live in tiny houses (like with the post to come later today). It just gets me going, but in the most relaxed way imaginable. Are these things the true North of my internal compass? Does any of this ring true for you?

Easy Like Monday Mornin'

It's the early hours of the morning and the light has begun to break. (What a relief to have daylight coming earlier each day!) I took the dog outside, cup o' tea in hand, and stood in the wake of the world's rise. Fergus bopping around taking in the scent of the air while looking most official in his morning rounds. A crow passes overhead without a sound except for the unusually pronounced "woosh... woosh" with each flap of its wings. It's cold and crisp, it's Monday, and I'm feeling easy. I have a lot on my mind these days and yet, for the first time I can recall, I don't feel frenetic. There seems to be a calm and collected sensibility that has settled in and I'm most grateful for however long it chooses to visit.

On a very personal note, I am facing the failing health of my mother who is experiencing increasing moments of memory loss. That alone is difficult to face for a whole host of reasons that you can likely imagine, but she also refuses any attempts to get her to seek proper medical attention which has my family facing some seriously difficult decisions. However, in spite of these painful realizations, I'm finding myself much more willing to savour the present over stressing over the future. Conversations that I had with her previously which could be done while answering emails, cleaning, or other assorted forms of the much overrated "art" of multi-tasking, have now been replaced with a quiet room and an attentive ear. She could repeat the same story ten times in two hours and I'm now in a place to feel joy and gratitude to hear her voice and gifted that she still knows who I am. This is delivered grace for which I am immensely grateful.

On a more practical side of things, after coming back from Alt Summit, all sorts of thoughts have been swirling around my head concerning "The Bedlam". I've been mulling over ideas of a redesign, putting together an editorial schedule vs. spontaneous postings, producing more original content, starting a small online shop, work/blog/life balance, advertising, etc. This leads me to a couple of things I'd like to address.

First, let's just get this one out of the way, shall we? Advertising. There, I said it. It kinda makes people want to take a long shower when they hear it, and, yes, I'm experimenting with it. I know this can be a somewhat controversial topic in the blogosphere so I didn't want to just start throwing up ads without some kind of conversation about it with you.

I know there are many who consider it more noble to have an "ad free" blog. But, anymore, that feels an awful lot like the "nobility of the starving artist" diatribes I'd hear in art school. Is it really any more noble to spend the bulk of your time being a waiter/banker/real estate agent/etc. in an effort to scratch some time out to be an artist, than it is to make a line of your own stationery to help fund your artistic pursuits? It seemed most want/ed to consider the latter selling out. But, I see the former as much more inclined to sell your soul. And, that is a much more egregious offense in my mind. All in all, I think a good many of us can find it extremely difficult to place any kind of monetary value on anything that we enjoy doing or are considered talented at when we do it. So, in an effort to avoid the discomfort, there are many who will dismiss taking those steps by deciding to attach a greater value in the sacrifice of taking nothing. It's classic "people pleaser" and I'm working to shed that skin.

Now, that said, this is an experiment and I have it on good authority that it ain't gonna have you calling me "Daddy Warbucks" anytime soon. Not by a long shot! But, if it rewards me with enough to buy the ingredients to share a recipe with you or, let's face it, enjoy a little cocktail? Cool beans! It's one way to say to myself and the universe around me, "Cheers! I'm worth it!" But, it also doesn't have to mean that I'm going to sell us all down the river for a bag o' chips either. I think that's the "ick" side of advertising that we all dread and I'm not interested in having us swim through that sludge. Auto parts ad? Yeah, I don't think so. An eco-friendly line of handmade clothing ad? Awesomesauce! Diamond importer? Have you even looked at my blog?! A little kickback from Amazon or Chronicle on the sale of a cookbook that I have and think is rockin' and, thus, recommended? Thanks! Are ya' feelin' my flow? I'd like to think that I've got a good head on my shoulders with the concept of advertising and I want to have both of our backs on this one. So let me know your concerns should they ever come up. Deal?

Secondly, speaking of your thoughts and concerns, last week I received a comment from a reader. It was a pretty harsh and judgmental one and took me back for sure. But, despite the glaring lack of graciousness in its delivery, there was what could have been some constructive criticism. Basically, this person hates the way and the frequency with which I say "kids". Now, in my day to day dialogues this is par for the course and you'd just have to deal. But, I don't write this blog in a vacuum and things that work in the course of face-to-face conversation may not read well in the written word. Thinking about this, for some "kids" may come across as jovial and welcoming, while others may find it condescending or schticky. So, while we're at it, what do you think? "Kids"? Love it or leave it?

And, while we're on the topic of your thoughts, do you have any other opinions you might like to share about "The Bedlam"? What you like and don't like? What you wish there was more of and less of? I'm totally open to hearing your input and constructive criticisms. And, while I'm all for honesty, "brutal" honesty can be left at the door. I'm gonna side with Mary Poppins on the whole 'sugar helping the medicine go down' theory. So, feel free to be open while remembering it isn't open season on your uncle. (And, if it makes it feel easier, you are welcome to leave your comments anonymously.)

I'll be happy to take into account all of your feedback and we'll see what happy medium that might leave us with. Whatever that is it's going to have to remain authentic for me while engaging for you. It's kinda like any good party. It can't be all about the host and it can't be all about the guest, but if each is thoughtfully considered then they can all have a great time.

Thanks for sharing... kids! (Eh, one last hurrah! Maybe.)

(Oh, and if you'd rather, you can also feel free to email me at unclebeefy@gmail.com.)

“If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?”

IMAGE BY UNCLE BEEFY.




TITLE QUOTE BY ERMA BOMBECK.

Coffee Talk: Weekend Thoughts

Dear Kids,

So, how'd you get along this week? Was it okay for you? Gee, I hope so.

Got any fun plans for the weekend? The "Super Bowl"?! Look, kids, can your uncle be straight with you? (Leave it!) I'd have a hard enough time if the nation were coming together for the "Souper Bowl" to celebrate the joys of soups and stews. But, you throw sports into the equation and all I think about is Mr. Koethe in junior high physical education classes yelling at me to get out on the field and play some football only to quickly dismiss me from the field to run laps for an hour. Me + sports = Why is everyone yelling? Are we out of champagne? SO not a good fit!

Here's what else has been on my mind (and in order of appearance - buckle up!):

• I wish I lived in San Francisco.
• Sometimes I think, "Dammit! I'm gonna glitter the hell outta one o' my pairs o' shoes one of these days! I like glitter, dammit!
• Then I think, "Do you really think you're gonna pull off that look?"
• WWTGD - What Would Tim Gunn Do
• Phở. (And, yes, it's pronounced "fuh" not "fo".)
• Bánh mì.
• I'm getting app'd and platform'd out. I mean really. Is all of this really saving us time or getting us better connected? Probably not.
• I need to get a smart phone. Oy! Conundrum!
• Facebook is about to produce new millionaires. I passed up a job at a little start-up offering stock options called "Amazon".
• I passed up that job to continue working as a receptionist at a law firm where I got to work alone on the holidays, trap squirrels, and talk to convicts. So, y'know, not a bad trade off. Ugh!
• Glitter!
• "Downton Abbey"! Shut-the-front-door! It's. Bananas!
• Rachel Zoe was in my dream last night. She was super sweet and trying to get me to Blogshop this weekend but kept getting distracted shopping. And, she kept calling me "Brad". I don't think so, "Rach"!
• I had bad dating experiences with boys who loved science fiction.
• I love my dog.
• Elie Saab. Pure genius!
• Pinterest!
• I think about moving to some small town and hunkering down. But, I live in a small town on an island and want to leave. I need some clarification with my subconscious yearnings.
• I went to the grocery store last night and came home with brownies, crab, sauvignon blanc, and rubber latex gloves. My life in a word, "glamorous".
• Coffee. That's nothing new. I always think about coffee.
• Cake. I like cake. It comforts, it soothes. It's like the mentholatum rub of the pastry world.
• Ointment. UGH! I hate the word "ointment"! My others? "Panties" and "moist". [Shudder!]
• I just don't know how this whole Madonna half-time show is gonna go down at the Super Bowl. Such an odd combination.
• I wish they'd make a third installment in the "Sex & the City" movie series. But, only because they need to apologize to us for the second one somehow. Right?!
  
• The next time someone tells you they're a "lover of the arts"? Clarify!


Have a great weekend, Kids!

I Got Sunshine

Driven to Distraction

Being Boring

Top Drawer