January 07, 2009

True(ly), Mad(ly), Deep(ly)


From Chrissie White via ffffound.

Did you think I was ever coming back, Kids? I know it was a long absence but I guess it was needed. The holidays came and went without feeling particularly holiday-ish. Quiet and contemplative into 2009. And here we are now...game on!

Ugh! Doesn't that smack of cliche? "Game on!"? Like the New Year is something to tackle like a football player or a bridesmaid going for the bouquet. I, like most others, typically rally at the end of the holidays and fuel the fires of all that is to be in the upcoming turn of the calendar year. But, for me, not this year. My one resolution is "no resolutions". Somewhere in the dregs of this blog is my resolution list from last year which is likely to contain much of what might get added to the current list...if I were to make one. I am not. Of course, I have goals and aspirations as we head into what may well be a tumultuous year at best. The thing is, in 2009, I really need to get some serious stuff moving. But I need to be easier, gentler, clearer with myself as well.

This is the year that your Uncle turns the big "40". I have been anxiously awaiting this for a long time as I always felt really good things about being 40. And I still do. But, admittedly, I am not quite where I imagined I would be. Frankly, I feel a million miles away from where I thought I'd be at this point. Sometimes I feel hopelessly lost and other times I feel like fighting furiously to keep steering the rudder through the perfect storm. Sometimes I throw myself a pity party and other times I am kicking my own butt. But, you know what, not anymore. If I feel like I am being guided toward anything right now it would be toward... surrender.

Oh no...not "give up" surrender but "go with the flow" surrender. I have tried to control so much and yet seem to have ultimately maintained control over very little. So maybe it's time to do the opposite? At this point, I don't see a lot of other options. And, you know what, that feels okay to me. Truly...okay. One day at a time and we'll see what comes of all of this.

*********

So how have all of you been doing? Any big plans for your New Year? Hope that the holidays went well for everyone. And "THANK YOU!" to all of the sweet well wishes in my absence. That picture up above ain't no lie, Kids! :) Mwah!

21 comments:

  1. Oh I just know 2009 is going to be a fabulous to you! Great things happen to even greater people and I can't wait to hear all about your fortunes.

    Happy New Year Beefy and sending along 40+40000000000 wishes for the greatest birthday and year ever.

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  2. You and me both, then – it's the year for my big 4O also. Can't say I'm feeling good about it, but I too will opt for surrender. Pointless trying to fight it, really. I'm sure I will have my moments of trying, though... It will be good to know that your blog is out there giving guidance through it all! ;-)

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  3. Yay, 40! Same for Rob! I think you're on the verge of a new phase in your life that'll be filled with lots of great things. I'm picturing you opening a little shop (online or brick and mortar)...yes?!

    I haven't made any resolutions, because I seem to fail miserably at keeping them. In 2008, all I did was keep this one sort of mantra/goal in my head all year, which I kept repeating to myself and was able to stay focused on. It worked! It really kept me pointed in the right direction and was almost a self-fufilling prophecy. So, I'm doing the same for this year and hoping it works again :).

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  4. Do be good to yourself! This past year has been difficult at best for many, and I'm hoping that the new one will ease up a bit on those who have had a hard time. I wish you the very best in 2009- a big one for you! You are so very multi-talented, and clearly a vibrant,caring soul as well, one who deserves to have the very best.

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  5. Oh SO happy to see Beefy back! I kept checking each day...and, nope- not there. But NOW- FAB!

    I had an interesting reading this winter- you know, charts and stuff- and a big thing that was said was to no longer do things for what you EXPECT might be the outcome - rather do things that make you Happy. Its been a big "click" for me...when you go with the flow eventually you find that - hey - this a groovy ride, man!

    And I agree - no resolutions- who needs the pressure!? I sures don't.

    Im just sayin'

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  6. I think that kind of surrender is a sort of noble, brave and humble goal of its own. thanks for a great post. your warmth shows through as always.

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  7. Welcome back! Years ago I felt just about the same when turning 40...I think it is par for the course.

    A zen master I read about one time had a powerful technique called something like "cork on the ocean" which required visualization of the cork which may toss about in even a hurricane but can't sink. The cork can't and doesn't try to control the sea, it just floats.

    I really like that analogy and have found it useful ...oh...since my 40th birthday party ended.

    You will have a great 09 Mon Oncle! I can't wait for your further adventures.

    ML
    mlanesepic.blogspot.com

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  8. I think surrender is wise.....age will do that for us (ha). Age has taught me that once we stop fighting for what we think should be and accept things, a world of even greater possibilities shows up. I wish that for you!

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  9. The big 4-0, Beef? It seems wrong not to celebrate with cosmos and cupcakes and your friend Bee! So let's resolve to toast the big day when it arrives...you on one coast and me on the other. I'll have a red velvet. And you? MWAH!!!! Happy '09, Beef:)

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  10. 4-0 will be fabulous, darling! happy new year, uncle beefy. i missed you!

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  11. My plans are to not grow any older...jk
    Anyhow I plan to work harder and put out some more designs in my shop etc...You know how it goes. Oh and maybe squeeze in a vacation.


    Jen Ramos
    'Cards & Prints You'll Love...'
    www.madebygirl.com
    madebygirl.blogspot.com

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  12. Glad you are back in the saddle again! I always look forward to your posts ~ don't stop!

    Maybe it is the time of the year, the bad economy or the first week back to the day job ~ I have passed the 40 year milestone and have similar feelings still ~ I'm just not as eloquent at expressing them! I actively worked at trying to change some of the things I am disappointed in this year ~ and after much work and stress I am pretty much in the same boat. Looking back though, had some of these changes happened, I would have ended up in worse shape. I guess there are many of us corks out here floating about!

    Wishing you a Happy New Year ~ may all your dreams come true!

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  13. Wishing you all the best in the new year sweet Uncle!

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  14. I hear you!. I feel the same as this year approaches, but I'll be turning the big "30". Not feeling old, just feeling - hmmmm, this was not how I expected it to be. Time to make it what I want it to be I say. I've dubbed it the year of the phoenix.

    I'm lucky to have stumbled upon the bedlam that is you beefy - thank you xxx

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  15. Yay he's back. Missed you. Checked in every day. Felt like I was picking up the phone to make sure there was a dial tone while I waited for some buy to call ;)

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  16. They say 40's are the new 30's right?

    I am turning the big 40 this year too. I try to remember the words of my mother, "It get's better every year!"

    Love your blog. I'll be checking back. Happy New Year.

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  17. No worries about the "number"....it's all about the 'randomness of life'....you never know what's around the next corner!
    Live it that way and keep true to yourself. That is the way you have to live it, or the number will drag you down.....yes I've passed that milestone too and I have to say I like it on this side of the fence!
    I'm just a random follower of your blog and I think you're fantastic! You make my day by bringing *me* out of my internal world!
    hugs!

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  18. OMG! What was going on that I never wrote my own comment to ALL of these lovely ones?!! (You can thank "pamdemonium" for wakin' your Uncle up, Kids!) Lord have mercy!!!

    Thanks to all of you: Courtney, Janne, Mary, Megan, James, AmberLee, M. Lane, Jae, Bee, Tula, Raquel, Jennifer, Julie, Denise, Kimberlee, Jane, Sally, and Pamdemonium! Thank you for all your warmth, kindness, support, and wisdom! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the generosity of spirit that every single one of you gave...and give all the time.

    You make your Uncle very proud, Kids! And, I might add, very happy and warm inside. Gush! :)

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  19. Oh give me a break -- I'll be 43 in August! and I look FABULOUS! : D

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