Friday Favorites

INSTAGRAM PHOTO BY UNCLE BEEFY

Happy Friday, kids! How was your week? Hope it's been a good one! That rainbow up there happened last week and if you follow me on Instagram or any other Seattle-area blogger you'll know we went bananas with endless shots of this incredible beauty (it was actually a double rainbow!). I figure it's a great image to start the weekend with, n'est-ce pas? Here are a few other favorites to fritter through:

I so need to do this.

Can't wait to get my eyes on this book.

Geninne's work always makes me happy.

Billy is some serious kind of sass-o-FRASS and I can always count on him to make me laugh.

Sometimes I imagine Billy, Gabriel, and I hanging out together. Drinking these margaritas! We'd probably end up getting arrested.

Oh well, a good time for us to listen to Lisa school us in 'embracing the abyss'.

Maybe one of y'all would be willing to bring us this pretty little cake to cheer us up? File entirely optional.

And while we wait for you, we'll just be practicing our lip sync routine in the yard.

Woah. That got a little tangential, didn't it? Leave it to me.

Happy weekending and I'll see you next week!

Uncle Who?: I'm Back!

Hi, kids! Yeah, so I was gone a little longer than I would ever have anticipated. But, y'know what? It's what I needed so that's just the way it rolled. C'est la vie!

What a roller coaster it's been in my absence! I won't bore you with all the gory details but there were some ups and downs, emergency trips to the vets, my camera lens broke (right after saying I needed to get a new lens!), gorgeous summer weather, and a proposal (that's the money shot up there)! Yep! Looks like it'll be wedding bells for Beefy one of these days! So can you see how my head would have been spinning lately? I knew you'd understand. You're so good to me. 

Be on the lookout as I start to get things fired up 'round here once again. And, hey, I haven't been totally stagnant in the blogging department. Check out my Proust Q & A over on Fleurishing!

So nice to be back and hoping all has been well in your world.

See you soon!

Blogshop + You Can't Unsee This

Special thanks to Bri & Angela!
(They deserve it after that up there, don'tcha think?)

Coffee Talk: Weekend Thoughts

Dear Kids,

So, how'd you get along this week? Was it okay for you? Gee, I hope so.

Got any fun plans for the weekend? The "Super Bowl"?! Look, kids, can your uncle be straight with you? (Leave it!) I'd have a hard enough time if the nation were coming together for the "Souper Bowl" to celebrate the joys of soups and stews. But, you throw sports into the equation and all I think about is Mr. Koethe in junior high physical education classes yelling at me to get out on the field and play some football only to quickly dismiss me from the field to run laps for an hour. Me + sports = Why is everyone yelling? Are we out of champagne? SO not a good fit!

Here's what else has been on my mind (and in order of appearance - buckle up!):

• I wish I lived in San Francisco.
• Sometimes I think, "Dammit! I'm gonna glitter the hell outta one o' my pairs o' shoes one of these days! I like glitter, dammit!
• Then I think, "Do you really think you're gonna pull off that look?"
• WWTGD - What Would Tim Gunn Do
• Phở. (And, yes, it's pronounced "fuh" not "fo".)
• Bánh mì.
• I'm getting app'd and platform'd out. I mean really. Is all of this really saving us time or getting us better connected? Probably not.
• I need to get a smart phone. Oy! Conundrum!
• Facebook is about to produce new millionaires. I passed up a job at a little start-up offering stock options called "Amazon".
• I passed up that job to continue working as a receptionist at a law firm where I got to work alone on the holidays, trap squirrels, and talk to convicts. So, y'know, not a bad trade off. Ugh!
• Glitter!
• "Downton Abbey"! Shut-the-front-door! It's. Bananas!
• Rachel Zoe was in my dream last night. She was super sweet and trying to get me to Blogshop this weekend but kept getting distracted shopping. And, she kept calling me "Brad". I don't think so, "Rach"!
• I had bad dating experiences with boys who loved science fiction.
• I love my dog.
• Elie Saab. Pure genius!
• Pinterest!
• I think about moving to some small town and hunkering down. But, I live in a small town on an island and want to leave. I need some clarification with my subconscious yearnings.
• I went to the grocery store last night and came home with brownies, crab, sauvignon blanc, and rubber latex gloves. My life in a word, "glamorous".
• Coffee. That's nothing new. I always think about coffee.
• Cake. I like cake. It comforts, it soothes. It's like the mentholatum rub of the pastry world.
• Ointment. UGH! I hate the word "ointment"! My others? "Panties" and "moist". [Shudder!]
• I just don't know how this whole Madonna half-time show is gonna go down at the Super Bowl. Such an odd combination.
• I wish they'd make a third installment in the "Sex & the City" movie series. But, only because they need to apologize to us for the second one somehow. Right?!
  
• The next time someone tells you they're a "lover of the arts"? Clarify!


Have a great weekend, Kids!

It's a moment like this that makes me glad I have 'bedlam' in my blog title.

"Hi, coffee! Glad you could make it! Say, have you met keyboard? Oh, you really must meet! Here... let me introduce you!"

Well, after all my years using a computer... not bad, huh? Pretty good track record wouldn't you say? Huh? OH! Don'tcha know?!! Oh dear!

Resident genius and coffee addict here, for the first time ever, dumped an entire cup of coffee over my keyboard. It was doing just fine for a bit but by the time I got home from work it had decided that it loved self-typing "7" over and over again without provocation. And, it looks like my keyboard and the letter "e" must have had enough of each other after all. In a word... kaput!

No, I'm not writing this from my keyboard (see aforementioned situation). And, I don't know how soon I'll be able to be back in business given that Apple doesn't seem to have much fondness for us designery types who live in the middle of freaking nowhere. So, I haven't the foggiest idea whenst I shall come upon an Apple compatible keyboard in my neck of the woods...???

Fear not though, Kids! Your Uncle is on the case and will do his best to rectify (that's fancy talk for 'fix') this situation as soon as possible!

So, that gives all y'all a little extra time to enter the giveaway (through the end of today anyway).

"When you gonna blog, Beef? I don't know when. But, we'll get together then, Kids. You know we'll have a good time then."

Welcome to My World

Hi, Kids. For those of you who follow me on twitter you've probably already heard about yesterday's events. Yes, that image up above was how I spent my Sunday. I know, awesome. At approximately 4:30 pm, I was stopped at a stoplight when a Ford Bronco decided to plow into me at about 45 mph (give or take). I drove through the same intersection earlier today and nary a skid mark where our cars collided so it would appear that he made no effort to brake whatsoever. The guy who hit me must have had really important stuff to take care of because he couldn't be bothered sticking around! I KNOW! Even MORE awesome! Luckily, I wasn't sent careening out into the oncoming traffic or things probably would have been *much* worse.

I've been riding that typical emotional roller-coaster all last night and today... what if I'd just done this or not done that, or moved over to the next lane like I thought about, what if something had happened to the dog, how are we going to afford another car payment, thank God I'm okay, thank God it wasn't worse, is how I feel going to get worse, could this become something worse, you'll be fine, it's gonna be okay, God why, how will I ever drive again, of course I'll drive again, just move through this, move through this. And on, and on, and on.

So now I'm sore, popping Ibuprofen, and icing various parts down but, for the moment [insert knocking on wood], I'm hoping nothing worse 'pops' up and that I can say "I'm fine" with some degree of certainty in the coming days. I'll be spending lots of time talking with insurance agencies, police, doctors, etc. in the days to come so, yeah again, I'll be low on the blogging scene. But, as always will try to check in on ya's and see how you're doing without me.

Say a prayer or twelve (or more) for me will ya', Kids? Thanks.

If there is one thing I can't stand, it's people who post pictures of their pets on their blog.

Blue View

Popcorn

"Yo, Homies!"

Kids, if there is one thing that we both share in common and that brought us closer together in 2009 it's the extreme love of, well, ME!  (Okay, it probably had more to do with cupcakes, or design, or fashion... but I digress!)

So, Miss Tula, of fabtastic Whorange fame, tipped me off that Apartment Therapy's 2009 Homies nominations were underway and that I had gotten a few votes placed in my direction! (I know! You're all, "Why don't they just give Uncle Beefy the top honors already?!! DUH!" But there are processes in life, Kids. And we want everyone to have a "fair" shot, don't we?  Now where to put that trophy?  Ooh!  Sorry, where was I?) Anywhoozles!  Would I love ya' if you stuffed a vote or 50 in my ballot box?  I bet I could muster up some human feelings of warmth and affection, sure!  Why not?!!

So why don'tcha head on over and do us both a favor?  Huh?  Time's running short (deadline is the 29th)!  You'd really help make my year if ya' did!  Or, if you're too busy to show me just a small token of your affection, then we'll just chalk things up and accept the dismal beginnings of my 2010.  You just do what you feel is best, Kids.  I understand.  [Uncle Beefy sighs and looks forlornly off into the distance. One tear streams slowly down his unbelievably handsome cheek.]

Hey, Cupcake!

"Uh huh. I'm talkin' to you! You cherry-topped, sugar-laced bastard! Y'know, we've done alright by each other for some time now. We've had our ups and downs, sure, but last night, in the wee hours of the morning, something in you changed. Will it ever be the same? I don't know, Cupcake, you tell me."

So last night was a mini-marathon baking session, Kids. Birthday cupcakes for the partner's boss. And she is most deserving of the effort... for sure. But I should have known something was up when I began the baking process. Upon returning home from rounding up the necessary ingredients I emerged confidently in the kitchen. I mean, I've done this before. Plenty. Buttermilk? Dammit. Eggs? Oh crap! Whew... just enough. Through God's good baking graces I could proceed.

Fortunately, I'm an uber-relaxed baker and have no need for perfection. So I got out my level to adjust the rack in the oven to avoid any lopsided tops. (See what I mean?) Ready to go. Batter ready, paper cups placed in non-stick (Yeah, right!) pan, measured scoop.... GO! Approximately 14 minutes later I was removing random-acts-of-what-the-hell from the oven! Apparently, my oven rack must go concave when the door is shut because each of these little chocolate bundles were more lopsided than a group of drunken frat boys. AND they were sticking to the pan! The NON-STICK pan! (Screw you too, Wilton and your half-assed baking accessories!) Pan after rage-inducing pan emerged and the breakdown began. Cupcakes and f-bombs. A delight for the whole family!

On the menu? Black Forest & German Chocolate. I hadn't made either one before but felt confident in winging it. Well, initially, anyway. Cherry Brandy frosting came together decently enough, I guess. Though my adrenaline-infused taste buds were hard-pressed to discern it from cheap Lucerne Cherry Yogurt. The man, after being awoken to taste test (You're welcome, honey.), assured me all was well. (He sleeps incredibly well through cursing and cupboard slamming.)

On to the German Chocolate Frosting. Now, I've had it many a time but never actually made it. Coconut, pecans, sweetened condensed milk... easy peasy, how hard could it be? People, as an avid baker let me illuminate you to one of the professional tips of the baking world... read your damn recipe! At 12 midnight I had the Cinderella rug pulled right out from beneath me! Aside from toasting the coarsely chopped pecans and coconut I had to bake the sweetened condensed milk in a pie plate, in a water bath... wait for it... FOR TWO HOURS! Was I Napoleon or Rush Limbaugh in a past life and this was my punishment?!

Well, Kids, two hours later, I was distinctly more knowledgeable about TMZ and Cindy Crawford's amazing line of skin care products. Additionally, I was introduced to what would become a coconut/pecan/crack cocaine concoction that I would gladly sit my fat, naked ass in the midst of a Weight Watchers meeting and devour with absolute relish!

So, y'know, aside from questioning my entire purpose in life and chipping away at the last vestiges of any mental stability, it all went pretty well.

Yup. That's all.

Cheese... Cake

Hi, Kids! Yep, it's me the Uncle. Am I back? Kinda sorta, I suppose. Probably easing back into things at the moment. While I've been missing the blogosphere, it has been a refreshing break. Having one less thing on the to-do list was much appreciated even if it got replaced by a multitude of other things. Did I get all the things done that I set out to do? Um, no. They say that "man makes plans and God laughs". Then the last couple of weeks must have been a veritable comedy festival from "His" perspective. But dents were made which is more than I can say for a couple of weeks ago! A couple of weeks?!! It's been THAT long. Nuts. Fall is pushing on in a big way. The leaves on some trees have begun lightly falling. The temperatures have dropped and clear mornings are now fog-draped and dew-laden (Sounds very Harlequin Romance, eh? Don't worry... no mentions of anyone's "thrusting manhood" here.). All in all, it has me thinking about Halloween, cool nights, warm cocoa, and how much crap I may or may not get done! Dammit. I've gotten sucked into A&E's "Hoarders" which has me contemplating what the application process is for that show...? And, how amenable the crew might be in filming me from my best angle. Last night's episode showed a close-up shot of a cover of House Beautiful "101 Best Makeovers" lying on a floor that spanned out into a room of complete chaos. I'm guessing a red wardrobe might help me show up on camera better given the backdrop? But I digress.

I have been baking up a storm while on hiatus. Okay, maybe not a "storm" but somehow "baking up a light breeze" didn't seem as effective from a literary standpoint. Our friends Chance & Temre just had a birthday blowout... Chance's birthday along with their daughter, McKenna's, big "1st". The initial request was for, you guessed it, cupcakes. But my work schedule would have rendered that undertaking useless so I settled on a myriad of layer cakes. Excuse the gold pastry rounds... they're all I could get.

   

I'm still mulling over the idea of pastry school. Though I have had a few people who think I should just skip it altogether. Some with the background and experience to move their opinion beyond delusional optimism (but thanks, Mom & Dad). But if I did decide to do it, it's the money part that would be the biggest hurdle. I may have to have a blogging fundraiser or something. Ooh! Maybe a Blog-A-Thon?!! That might work. Maybe I can get Marilyn McCoo to do a couple of numbers on my behalf? Mickey Rooney must be desperate for work these days (Yes... he's STILL alive!). The thing is, despite my elusive charms and talents, how am I ever going to engender the same level of cash-producing guilt as a 5-year-old in a wheelchair singing "The Rainbow Connection"?

See, Kids... so much to do.

Bow, wow, chicka, bow, wow...

Yup...that's all.