June 24, 2011

Reality Bites

Uh huh... this is exactly what I'd like to be doing at this very moment. Booyah!

Yeah, Kids... here I am. Woo hoo! Let's have a party!

Or, not. [Ugh!]

Nope... no fancy schmancy, hey-Uncle-Beefy-what-font-is-that kinda schtick. Just me and a standard Blogger font selection and a why-did-I-get-outta-bed kinda Friday. I know. Awesome.

So, here's the dealio, Kids. I got up at 4:00am this morning, started the coffee, managed to avoid a hip transplant whilst walking through the kitchen with one of my ravenous blind cats darting back and forth between my legs, fed said cats, assessed the reemergence of a possible ant infestation, and then sat down at my desk to check into my little corner of the web. With the first hits of caffeine pulsing through the system, I started gittin' down ta' business. "Hey, tweeps!" "Ooh, hi there Pinterest loveliness!" "Good morning, Houzz Home Page with my ideabook posted!" "Happy Friday, Mr. New Post Blogger Button!" [insert record scraaaatch here] "Um, Circling Little Rainbow Ball? What are you doing here?! And, why in the hell did you bring Mr. Hard Drive Mystery Clicking with you?!!"

Wondering what in the hell I'm talking about? Yeah, me too! Because the next thing I know I'm looking at some gray file folder icon with a question mark flashing against a white screen. Did I just get fired from the internet?! Or, maybe God/The Universe/Oprah decided I needed to stay off the computer for awhile.

And, do what? Invest in the idea of just making sweat pants part of my permanent wardrobe and bake my butt off in pursuit of emotional eating? I'm sure I could find an article to talk me down off this ledge on Oprah.com. Oh. Wait! Right! No internet! Awesome.

So, it looks like my hard drive is fried. Sayonara! See ya'! And, bye bye to all that I hadn't yet backed up. Of course.

This is coming on the heels of dealing with our dog that needs surgery projected to be in the neighborhood of $2500-$2700, my Mom who is showing disconcerting early signs of either dementia or Alzheimer's and won't see a doctor, and a family member who, despite having very little contact with me, decided to take it upon themselves to make a drunk-dial phone call to discuss at length the multitude of character flaws I apparently have. To name a few. Again, awesome.

In short, right now it's kinda feeling like "the straw." Y'know? Then again, maybe it's just more than I care to deal with in the immediate moment and I'll just keep rolling along. I mean, what other alternative does one really have? Join a religious cult?

At the very least, this is going to seriously impede on my posting abilities until I can get this matter resolved. So, in the words of Depeche Mode, 'enjoy the silence.' In the meantime, I may as well head out to the barn and saddle up ole "What-Can-Ya'-Do" and go for a long, contemplative ride. Or, take to the Lifetime Movie Network to derive inspiration from the likes of Lindsay Wagner or Melissa Gilbert on bouncing back from adversity. But, if I come to find out that my partner, Kendall, is a Russian spy and my brother? I swear I'm calling it quits!

(Yeah, in case you didn't know, one of my 'character flaws' is also inappropriate use of humor during moments of crisis.)

See ya's sometime soon, Kids!


  1. Awful neighbors are the worst. And mom's getting sick with age are even worse than the worst neighbors. I hope you get some drunk kitchen time of your own soon.

  2. Humor during a crisis is a strength! You'll live longer and will have the last laugh ;) I felt the need to post to say my dad was just diagnosed with dementia (he's only 56). I'm sorry you're overwhelmed, eventually it will all pass... although the dementia is a terrible downhill thing. And seeking help frustrated me to no end, county mental health, police, adult protective services...all worthless in my situation. Good luck, if that's the case with your mother (and I hope it's not) you have a difficult road ahead...although things will brighten up, they have to, right?

  3. I can laugh and cry at the same time reading your post. Hang on there, you beautiful person you.

    That's the way life is :/ Here's to hoping your 'brand new day' comes and soon *flying hug*

  4. What?? You know that I have major ninja skillz right? Like I can make a visit to your cousin...just say the word. I literally cried so hard this year I broke blood vessels on my face Uncle Beefy, on my face. That is the kind of year I've had myself, and I can't express enough to you how sorry I am that you are dealing with all these issues, and simultaneously. Especially, with your mom...that is heart beat changing, and I hurt the most for you there. I am of the religious kind :) and I want you to know that God will be receiving prayers for you from me...kisses to your dog! xoxo

  5. oh my...that cracked me up...(not the bad parts--I hope that all gets resolved)...but the video, your humor, everything...also...you know I'm with ya on the dog surgery (another $250 to get stitches out, seriously?!), and also the relative developing dementia.

    lets both have a "jargarita" and make tacos. YES.

  6. Oh. My. GAWD. I just want to hug you right now! How awful. All of it! Your sense of humor is what keeps me coming back for more, and the fact that you can be jovial during hard times is a BLESSING and a GIFT! I challenge said family member to a Beat It style knife fight! Good luck with your mom, your pooch and your computer woes. You have gobs of blog friend love and support coming from me, dear. :)

  7. Oh, Uncle Beef, I'm sorry things seem to be pouring grey skies over there lately. And yet, I've no doubt that you'll make it through. You're brilliant and optimistic (so I've seen) and that combination will get you through all the rough spots. Find some time to relax this week and just treat yourself well.

  8. So I'm reading this, sitting here half cracking up and half wanting to give you a hug.

    And it's honestly a bit eerie reading this - on Sunday, our beloved 16-year-old cat was viciously attacked by a dog (she is miraculously alive and seemingly on the mend after a week of tears and many, MANY vet bills), and my Dad was just diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

    And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I could actually go on and on about so many OTHER terrible things that have happened to me and to people I know during the first 6 months of this pretty ridiculous year...so, Beefy, I don't know what the heck is going on here in 2011, but I'm so sorry you're getting the brunt of it, too. :(

    Let's all keep pushing through it and maybe we'll all win the lottery or something in 2012. xoxo

  9. Sweet Uncle B! Your inappropriate use of humor during moments of crisis is just one of the many things I love about you. Sending hugs!

  10. Personally, seeing as you have no computer to speak of, I think you should hit the road tomorrow and head to Camano Island for the Retreat sale! Lots of fun, interesting people - Liz will be there! And, of course, so will I - if you go early...
    Would be endlessly lovely to see you~

  11. oh nos! i am laugh/crying for you. super sucky! when things get icky i am all for taking a fake-your-own-death-and-leave-the-country approach. i guess that's not really an option. :P thinking good, positive, healthy doggy/family, sunshiney thoughts for you! xo

  12. i think your humor is rather appropriate--

    it is the moments of crisis that are inappropriate!

    {maybe rally a few blogger friends to guest post for you}

  13. Mon Oncle, humor and cupcakes [and pets] are some of the most potent weapons we have against the random tides. My mom always says "this too shall pass" and it is so true.

    Hang in there. We are all out on the waves with you. Floating on top.


  14. my dear Uncle B....hope your mum is getting better soon!!! be brave!!!! xxxx

  15. when it rains it pours, somehow that's often as true with the bad things in life as with the good. so as bad as things are at the moment, as good they will once again be. i always keep that thought with me when things are rough, it helps.

    sending good thoughts! (i would send fabulastic swedish cakes if possible:)

  16. You are stronger than you think! Hang in there, we need your pithy commentary ! Xxooxx

  17. Omg, this is like dejavu. Literally. Just did a post, and we're right about the same level. I'm totally with you on this one! ;)

  18. No, no, no this can't be! Unacceptable! I need me some Uncle Beefy in my life on a regular =)
    Really sorry to hear this dreadful news darling. Now, chin up...keep calm and carry on. Oddly enough, my hard drive left me as well 2 weeks ago. I nearly died. Perhaps the universe is speaking to us both in some esoteric way.
    Hope to see you back here real soon sweetie!
    Loads of love,
    Imen xx

  19. Well, having grown up in a religious cult I can assure you that that's probably not the answer. How bout a big ol' internet hug and wishes that things will be looking up for you sooner than soon. And on the more practical side...is there anything I can help with? Guest post, etc. Just let me know. xo Ez

    And P.S. Don't you ever get rid of any of your "character flaws." You are delightful just the way you are!

  20. Yikes! Too much! Good luck, Beef. I'll be thinking of you, and wishing for your happy return. xo

  21. We're pulling for you, Beefy Uncle! Don't disappear; feel free to add copiously to "Moments of Insanity", "Posts I May Later Regret" and above all, "Random Acts of..."
    xo judith b

  22. Sending loads of good and happy vibes your way — life can be amazingly tough at times and humour is the best way to handle it. I know you'll handle it all with grace — let me know if you need anything, too.


  23. Oh, Uncle B...mucho hugs your way.


  24. Just checking in...
    I hope things are looking up!

  25. Good time or bad, this video is SO CUTE. You are very funny and I so enjoyed watching your video!

  26. Ouch, a fried hard drive! That's painful. Hopefully you have a recent backup...?

  27. Wow, that blows big time. All of it. I hope you are taking this time to catch up on rest and taking care of you, too. Cause I am not there to personally do it for you, that is. Oh, how I miss you, Mister!! xoxo sending the biggest hugs:)

  28. B!! I miss you ! Been off in pinterest and img land hanging out much too much . Thanks for the giggles and huge hugs to you my friend. My favorite tee says It Gets Better - it does and it will. Love love love to you.
    Ps no computer and can't blog from iPad :/ waa . Cry me a river.

  29. Oh no :( Sounds like a sucky situation all around - but look at you cracking jokes and chalking it all up to life. I hope it all works out, and good luck with your mum and doggie.
    xo Bess

  30. Hi, Kids!!! Thank you SOOOOOOO much for all of your kindness and support during my absence! I really appreciate it!

    I should have my computer up and running in the next few days and will get back to it.

    Thanks for your patience! :)

    Uncle Beefy


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