November 13, 2008


Visual sweetness from photography talent Marcus Nilsson.

Kids, I'm going to be signing off until Monday. You all have been so sweet this week and you know your Uncle is heart-full at this point. But I've got a lot of things to get caught up on including a cupcake baking session (of which I'll try and actually get photos!) and getting back to some lovely emails. And, I think after this weeks posting it's time to just let this week be where it is for now. Don't you think? But I will see you at the beginning of next week as I shift back into gear toward what promises to be a most thankful Thanksgiving! Have a lovely weekend, Kids. You've earned it...for sure. :)


  1. have a lovely, lovely weekend! i've got cupcake baking on my list for this weekend too! mmmm! hugs!

  2. Hey Uncle, if you see this, there's a Seattle Prop 8 protest that gets underway 10:30 am at Volunteer Park on Saturday. XO

  3. Hey there Uncle Beefy. My name is Brian and I am writing to you in response to your post on Monday. Really appreciate your story and your struggle.

    I am from the reddest county in Arkansas so I am not surprised by the decisions there, but am really shocked by California. I would definitely have thought that New York would have rejected prop 8, but now I am uncertain.

    I also wanted to be in touch with you, because I want to ask for your assistance. Several years ago I worked with lgbt youth in St. Louis, MO. I was completely blown away by these kids and immediately thought the world should be exposed to them, the struggles that are very similar to the ones you went through, their strength and resolve to be nothing less than who they are. It was also an opportunity to show the incredible amount of anxiety and fear that pervades these kids lives during an already tumultuous time.

    The exhibit was a success, but I decided to shoot a video as an installation a week before I moved to New York. Only 7 out of over 100 young people felt comfortable to publicly tell their stories. The content was amazing and despite having filmed it on an $800.00 hand held mini cam, using a heat lamp clipped to a ladder for the lighting, i made an education video called xyQ. You can see more at

    I can tell you that my involvement with these kids changed my life immediately. All it took was seeing how the messages they receive on a daily basis affected them. Witnessing them was the first time in my life that I truly began to doubt what I had been taught about myself. So, because of these kids I suddenly had purpose. Much like having children I would suspect.

    I have spent the last five years working on completing xyQ, with the intention of making enough money to hit the road with my cameras, going to youth groups across the country to duplicate the photography / writing exhibit, and filming those who are willing and able to be interviewed. Despite a growing momentum with xyQ, I feel very far from meeting that objective and have been putting this out to the universe with the hope that it will resonate with some glbtq or allied person who has the resources to help me actualize this project.

    I firmly believe that our first step towards true equality is making sure that these young people are taken care of and heard. I also believe that we have to make it understood that lgbtq is not an adult decision, rather a very real survival skill of waiting until they have left home to come out.

    So, having said all of that, I first want to say that I am a new fan and secondly am looking for partners to help me realize a cross country trip to take a serious look at how our lgbt youth are fairing in the places where you and i grew up. We have a great deal to learn from them and they want to tell us their stories and everyone needs to hear them.

    Any help in putting this message out there would be greatly appreciated. I am going to be on the road by Spring. Maybe San Fran can be my last stop.

    Thank you again for your story. Sorry for the novella.

    Best Regards,
    Brian Fender

  4. wonderful weekend wishes to you :) by the way, that's a lovely image!

  5. off you go now... have a fabulous weekend uncle beefy!!!

  6. Cupcakes sound perfect! Take lots of pics. Send a few over. And enjoy your weekend.

  7. Was actually hoping that was a photo you had taken after you had sat and enjoyed a "sweet" moment. Happy weekend my friend:)

  8. You were very brave to tell your story. I am very disheartened that Prop 8 et al. passed but I still can't help thinking/hoping that things are going to change soon - for the better. I was raised really liberally (both deans at my high school were lesbians) so sometimes I think things are further along then they really are. But I think what you did with your post is the exact right way to go about it: to be yourself, love yourself, and never lose faith. So thank you.

  9. i mentioned you in my blog, i hope you dont mind :)

  10. carrie...thanks for stopping by and your lovely wishes! Cupcake baking was a success as they were gone before photos even happened! Woosh!

    mary t...thanks for the heads up, mary. But wasn't able to go because of work. And THANK YOU SO MUCH for you lovely post over at Straight From The Container! You're too sweet! :)

    Brian...would love to talk more about your project so email me if you get this! know! ;)

    shill...thanks, m'dear! Hope you had a lovely weekend! Mine was filled with frosting so not too bad really! ;)

    jane...cupcakes were gone before the pics ensued! People are crazy over these things! Aren't they? Like I don't know why! Hope your weekend was swell :)

    jae...Isn't this pic sweet? I just hear clinking glasses, good conversations when I saw it. Glad you liked it too. Happy week to you!

    celestyna...thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. It can be like living in a bubble sometimes, huh? But all things in time...I hope. I hope that all is well with you and your fashion-laden world! Take care :)

    Thanks for stoppin' by, Kids! Wishing you a wonderful week ahead!


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I always appreciate your thoughts. Your comment will appear as soon as I can publish it.

p.s. - Contrary opinions or constructive criticism are also fine but "The Bedlam" doesnt' serve as a platform for random (or anonymous) acts of offensiveness. Rude? Deleted.